It doesn't matter how mediocre this series can get, I look forward to a our now yearly Castlevania game more than Christmas.


As much as I want to hate this face of Harmony of Dissonance, Dawn of Sorrow and Portait of Ruin, I just cant.  I'll continue contributing to Iga's paycheck regardless, hoping he'll use my money one day for something other than to fuel his cocain addiction (like make a good 3D Metroidvania).

Or: Steven Tyler was right.

Since the idea of living on a ship has mortified me with the idea I will be bored out of my petty skull, I began splurging over everything related to the PSP in a effort to entertain me.  Of course, this means I'm just rebuying games I once owned but had to sell for cash as I happen to flux between poverty and being rich way too much, but none the less, there are some games I don't mind buying.  One of this is Gitaroo Man, and this is the third time I've bought it.



Gitaroo Man is quite frankly, the only rythme game you ever need.  It is made by that jerk who went on to create the tiresome Elite Beat Series, something I don't ever want to touch, with it's dirty licensed songs and stupid fanbase.

But Gitaroo Man is different from other rythme games, as it also kind of is like a fighting game in that you're dueling colourful freaks with your musical skillz.  That and it's the most wacked out musical odyssey about a boy on a drug fueled trip of self discovery this side of Tommy, but that's beside the point.


The hero of the game.

Each song is divided into multiple parts.  It normally starts off with you charging up your health, then attacking and defending against the enemy.  It's best seen in action:

This game also happens to be hard.  Once you think you've become the champ on normal mode, Master Mode will kick your ass into place.  I've successfully completed "Tainted Lovers" for the first time in years a few hours ago, and I can't stress how wonderful hearing "You've Won!" sounds.

The music, of course, is great.  I much rather have every song in this game than anything heard in Elite Beat Agents, it's nihongo counterpart and Guitar Hero.  There are many genres covered, all very well I might add, even the jazz song (a genre I disgust).  The songs add personality and fit the game like a glove.  And while we're in the sound department, I want to add I really like the voice acting.  Especially U-1/Gitaroo Man played by Lenne Hardt which tends to crack me up (in a good way).

Of course, the music wouldn't be anything without the characters.  Everyone outside of maybe U-1 is straight out of a bad acid trip.  Not in order of apperance, here is the cast and their respective song:

U-1/Gitaroo Man

U-1 is a total wuss with no self-esteem, who is always being picked on by Kazuya and is in love with Pico.  He is also the last legendary hero of Planet Gitaroo, and weilds a cosmic looking Flying V guitar.  How he is a legendary hero is beyond anyone.

Puma/Puma AC30

U-1's only friend, Puma is a talking dog that also happens to be the protector of the legendary Gitaroo.  No one knows how he and U-1 met (even U-1 questions that at one point), but whenever his pal is in trouble, he'll throw him his guitar to help battle whatever evil forces that appears.



Kazuya
A rich snob who is better than U-1 at everything.  He happens to look like Zowie (not related).

Pico
A flakey girl U-1 likes for whatever inane reason.  She happens to look like Kirah (also not related).

The back-up band

Gitaroo Man's back-up band.  All the music that Gitaroo Man and the enemy plays to is created by them.  There names are Noren (rabbit) who is on uhh... "keyboards", Yung (monkey) who does the .... drumming with her cymbols and Mr. Yasuda (panda) who somehow pulls off rythme guitar and bass with his accustic guitar.  Right.

Gravillians
Penpeus - "Twisted Reality" Rock song

A petite devil in a diaper, who weilds a axe-shaped guitar.  He can warp reality, and has a whinny voice.

Flying-O - "Flyin' to Your Heart" Insane techno pop song

A UFO mistaken for a bird and hamburger, he attacks U-1's city with "Dance to your Death" rays to lure Gitaroo Man out.  He commands a fleet of Mini-O's.

Mojo King Bee - "Bee Jam Blues" Funky jazz

A black man in a bee suit, who pisses off the local wild life with his music (except for the frogs).  Kind of looks like a blow-up doll with that mouth of his.

He dies by slowly sinking into a lake, ala how Arnold dies by slowly sinking into a vault of lava in Terminator 2.

Ben K - "Void" breakbeat

A giant space shark that chases U-1 and Puma across the vaccum to Planet Gitaroo.

Mecha Ben K - "Nuff Respect" Hippy music

Eventually when they near the planet, U-1, Puma and Ben K land on a satalite floating near by.  Ben K turns into Mecha Ben K, a shark with turntable breasts.

Sanbone Trio - "Born to be Bone" Latin death drumming?
-no image-
Three skeletons that have PS2 controllers for hips.  They guard a prison where citizens of Planet Gitaroo are locked away for not agreeing with Zowie's plans.

Gregorio Siegfried Wilhelm III - "Tainted Lovers" Heavy metal

A freak who is obsessed with his looks.  His gitaroo is a entire building of organs.

Also happens to be host of collection mode.

Kirah - "Overpass"/"Legendary Theme" Rock and rock.

A Gitaroo citizen who looks like Pico back on Earth.  She was raised to be the ultimate Gravillian, and weilds a bizarre looking lightning bolt shaped guitar.  She realizes her errors and gives her guitar to U-1 in the end.

In Lives!, she teams up with Gitaroo Man to protect Gitaroo Town from two new villians, Kai-Kakoon and MingMing.

Zowie - "Resurrection" Rock

Ruler of the Gravillians, he is searching for the legendary gitaroo to rule the universe.  Looks like Kazuya back on Earth.  His instrument is a giant suit of armor/guitar hybrid.

Lives! only opponets

Kai Kakoon - "Metal Header" Nu-rock

A giant insane looking mech that crashes into Gitaroo Town and begins attacking.  He hs three bats that kind of look like U-1's backing band.

MingMing - "Toda Passion" Latin music
-no pic-
Zowie's cat begins to wreck havok on Gitaroo Town at night.  In the end, she is saved by Puma.

So yeah, Gitaroo Man is a wondeful game.  It was sadly ignored for no good reason.  It didn't cop out and get licensed music (Elite Beat Agents) or require a gimmick controller (Guitar Hero) in a attempt to get noticed.  It was a well crafted game with a lot of love put into it by it's designers.

But as usual, you need to be some beaten horse of a game to get noticed anymore.  If you have any decent sense, you'd go out and look for Lives! at the very least as it's not impossible to find like it's big PS2 brother (and it has two new songs as well).

But of course you wont, because you will probably go out and buy Dead Space, which is just what you need.  Another space horror game, this time, Doom 3 in the third person.  While it's enjoyable and all, it wont ever leave such a lasting impression on you like this gem here.

As in: it didn't get it's ass sold with the Super Nintendo and N64 when I needed fast cash a few years ago.


What you see:
-Contra: Hard Corps.
-Seperation Anxiety
-Aladdin
-Mortal Kombat (abacabba)
-Vector Man
-Ecco....Jr.

I can't find the following:
-Sonic 1-3 + Knuckles
-Sonic Spinball Found it.
-Thunderforce III and IV
-Road Rash II Found it.
-Castlevania: Bloodlines
-Some Power Ranger game \o/
-Pac-Man 2: The New Adventures (YES)
-Streets of Rage 2
-Ecco 2
-Toejam & Earl: Panic on Funkitron
-Rocket Knight Adventures
-Primal Rage (I swear I saw that laying around in my room earlier today) Found it.
-The Tick
-Blaster Master (gross)
-Jurassic Park and Jurassic Park: Rampage Edition
-And uhhh... Bernstein Bears

I think my grandma has most of those though, as we used to store things at her house.



Check out them sweet Power Rangers stickers I got from Chucky Cheese.  Hell yeah.



After six (6) blows into the cartridge, I managed to get Contra "The Best in the Series/Infinitely better than Gunstar Retards": Hard Corps. to work.

Ahhh, 1994.  You were such a magical year.

Speaking of 199X, among other oddities I found from those years:

VHS animu.  HAHA, I feel old.


You can't really tell from how blurry it is, but Viz's stupid logo is nowhere to be found on this box (as this was before Viz somehow became the representation of all things Shonen Jump over here).  God I miss the 90's.


I got this when we lived in South Korea (military family).  I guess he's the Korean Mickey Mouse.

Info on this Lotty:
Official website.
Wikipedia



If Japanese is moonspeak, then whats Korean?



My poor, beat up PSX with stickers I'd get from PSM.  Time to throw you away :(



Got this when we were in Japan.



Seems to be the only few comics that have survived over the years. EDIT: Found a bunch of Aliens, Terminator, Predator and a few Jurassic Park comics. P:


Holy crap, look at all those strategy guides!  Oldest one in here seems to be the Link to the Past guide, followed by Mega Man X (which was mostly bought for all the neat artwork it had, since this was before the internet made such gimmicks as a art gallery obsolete).

Maybe I spoke too soon about best Contra.  Check out the dust on the GB screen.  Yikes.

I'll keep updating this with whatever weird ass things I find in my room.  It's like a museum in there.

megm.mraf..........ix..............................faojfl;hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

hurhurhurrrrrrrrrrrrrr

iiiiiicant distuguish reality from child hood no mama. no im sorry no no no no no no amamamamma hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrwut is it grampa//??/? icant gobble anymore worm demons please grampa hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Dad??/>? is that u????? no ive been a good boy....waht do you mean dance like a brazillian lady? not again dad please.  pleaee guagj.... hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrnfoajoaofnh no more hurrrrrrrrrrrr please make me stop daddy hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Because THEY got the better cover art.