In the previous blog I mentioned that I visit one particular forum frequently. That same forum has art contests where one user posts a theme, and other users have a deadline to complete at least one picture following that theme. The theme this time was "Crazy Crossovers."

I'm reppin' Capcom.

I know I can't draw. It's a doodle competition, and doodling is what I do best.

With MS Paint. =D

 

P.S. Sorry Dan lovers, but this seemed like a pretty good mash-up: a chronic scardy cat vs. Dan.

Short answer: My roommate.

Long answer: Last year my parents bought me a one year subscription to Xbox Live. I started the service when the semester started because I figured I would play games online every now and again. One game changed "now and again" to daily.

When Castle Crashers was released, I moved my Xbox from the living room (I live in an on-campus apartment) into my bedroom, since my only ethernet cable was less than ten feet long. So I played and played and got my Green Knight a magic farting machine, which caught my roommate's attention. He asked if he could play, and I of course obliged. We would play co-op over and over and build up our characters. One day I decided I wanted to try out another game. One I bought over the summer because it looked cool. One I bought over the summer because I expected a carefree arcade romp, with both single and multiplayer.

One that would trigger an addiction.

I played this online a bit. The class system was fun, and I enjoyed creating custom classes with witty names (like "Shawt Gun" for a shotgun based class; a nod to the Metal Slug announcer). But every so often, whenever I fired up the game, I noticed my aiming was changed back to normal, rather than invert. This was odd, but I didn't mind since it was an easy fix.

This happened multiple times a day, until one day I saw my roommate sitting at the base of my bed, wearing a headset, and smack-talking people nonstop. Being the introvert that I am, I didn't object to him playing. The benefit for me was that he was unlocking a lot of the guns faster than I could have. Eventually other single player games were released, so I took the Xbox back into the living room to play them on the HDTV. No problem until the end of the semester.

The first time my roommate and I went shopping this semester, he bought a twenty-five foot ethernet cable. He said he could play COD4 online with it, without having to be in my bedroom, and still able to use the big TV. No problem, I thought. All the stuff in the living room is mine, so it's not like he could mooch too much.

Since then, I have become too accustomed to the word "mooch."

Until last week, every day I would come back from class, and he would be playing COD4. I would get back from work anywhere from 9 PM to 1 AM and he would be playing COD. I would wake up and he'd be playing COD. I'd want to watch a movie after finishing my homework and he'd be playing COD. Day in, day out, late into the night, drunk, sober, hungry, full, sick, well, he would be playing COD. It isn't like he could hide it: I post regularly on a forum, and my signature is my GamerTag. He doesn't have a Live account at all, so he just uses my Gold one. For everything. Eventually I would be relieved when I did not see a green star with a four on it in the front. Now, I get pissed when I see that mother f**cking star.

In addition, he would use my Steam account and play Team Fortress 2 and Left 4 Dead. I learned about this when my supervisor at work, a very active gamer, asked why I rejected his game invite. I told him I was at work, and he asked who was on my account. After that, I changed my account to require password authentication whenever Steam is booted. Problem solved.

Last week I had a bit of a dopamine ushered emotional fit, which caused me to hurl the box and the disk a few times while he was at class. He asked me how the box got to the other side of the room, and I eventually said "I threw it." I didn't tell him why, but he stopped playing. Until last night. Bastard.

Anyway, I'll get back to my point. He is a COD addict. When I buy a game he likes, he plays nonstop. He has done the same with every game I own that has guns, along with any other game he just wants to try out. (The sole exception would be JRPGs, so I can find solace in Star Ocean: The Last Hope.)

I did not buy Street Fighter 4 because I want access to my Xbox 360. If I had that game, he would transfer from playing COD on my Live account to playing Street Fighter on my Live account. There are two inherent problems with this:

1) He's a God damn mooch.

2) He would probably unlock a lot of stuff for me, which would ruin most of my enjoyment. (Besides beating people up with Cammy and Fei Long).

That's why as soon as the semester is over, I'm buying Street Fighter 4 and two of those Mad Catz controllers. My friends back home and I are going to tear each other up, without me having to worry about the Xbox running 24/7.

Resident Evil 5, on the other hand, will provide a similar dilemma. I hope and pray he won't like it, just like he doesn't like the Metal Gear Solid series, because the action is too slow for his tastes. He does not like plot in games, just meaningless action and violence. Today he began playing Resident Evil 4, and I'm not sure if he likes it.

He was doing terribly in the first few minutes, using every healing item offered before the end of the first chapter. He ran into mines, stepped in bear traps, and could not suppress los ganados to save his life (literally). He was pissed at me when I didn't warn him about a not-zombie (as I call them) hiding in the third shack in the game, which hit him with a hatchet. I kept reminding him that Resident Evil is not an action series, but a horror series. He stopped playing after dying a few times at the beginning of the second chapter.

As selfish as this sounds, I don't want him to enjoy Resident Evil. I want my Xbox.

I don't know what all this talk about timepieces is about, but this afternoon, as soon as my next and final class is out, I'm going to the nearest theater to watch Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li's Thighs.

Seriously though, I couldn't find anyone to watch Watchmen with (see previous post) because either they weren't interested or they were already had plans to see it. I'll probably catch it over spring break (which starts in less than a week: the entire English department is leaving for a conference in San Francisco on Wednesday; all my classes are at least taught by an English professor; hence, I have no class) with my movie loving friend back home.

Also, I really am going to watch the Chun Li movie. I already have a time picked and everything.

Post movie update

Wow. That was bad. That was really, really bad. But I still payed for my ticket, and I want to see another Street Fighter movie. Maybe this will be like X-Men 1, and Street Fighter 2 will bring out all the really popular characters (except Gambit) and be miles ahead of the first movie.

Except then we'd have Street Fighter: The Last Stand, because the director wanted to direct a boring Superman movie, and we're left with crap that gave Rose the ability to teleport between shadows, instead of throwing psychic-powered punches.

Maybe next time, friend. There's always Street Fighter Origins: Dhalsim.

This week has been absolute ****. I won't go into too much detail, but I will say two date offers were turned down back to back, and that this occurence follwed a several year trend. The result has left me bitter, angry, and a tad violent. Thankfully, I've only hit street signs and and kicked a few roadblocks: nothing animate or owned by any one indifidual (I'm sure my campus will manage with a few dented signs).

Earlier this week I got an e-mail saying that I had a new message on this site. I'm normally not a very active member of this community (mainly because of school), so this was rare. When I saw it was an admin, I thought I had won something or was being contacted personally for whatever reason.

Turns out it was a mass message about Capcom credit cards. Already frustrated and furious with my nondigital life, I sent a somewhat snide reply to this e-mail. Tom, someone I am assuming is an admin who reads all those messages, replied and said that they company has to send out mass messages again. I apologized and said "It's just been one of those weeks."

Earlier tonight he responded again. He said he was sorry for my situation and gave me a code that I can redeem for a few Unity points. I entered the code, saw that I had received 500 points, laughed, and sobbed.

For the first time in a very long time, someone other than my cheerleading parents actually acknowledged me and did me a favor. That was the first act of kindness I had received in too long, and it was from a complete stranger. I couldn't hold back my tears.

After cleaning up, I thanked Tom and began writing this.

If I didn't love Capcom already for their awesome games, I love them now for caring about individual consumers.

Thanks again, guys. I am not exaggerating when I admit you made my day.

 

-Ben

 

P.S. Does anyone know how to redeem those points?

Introduction:

On the surface, your everyday American nerd is a quiet, docile, socially awkward creature. Stranded from their own kind, they must do everything they can to avoid excessive attention, lest they be cast in a negative light. When traveling in a pack, however, the nerd can become a bizarre, loud, and cantankerous being.

Abstract:

Nerds tend to congregate at various conventions, such as those glorifying Japanese anime, video games, or the European Renaissance. Those distinctions exist only on the surface; in reality, the nerd will often blend elements from each of these conventions. Often, outside observers will see knights from all edges of the earth celebrating anime, grown men dressed in Japanese school girl outfits playing video games with their compatriots, or protagonists from video games mingling with pages and squires.

It is at these mixing pots of nerdkind that the worst aspects of humanity are often observed. Without the fear of isolation, the nerd will often overact to present him or herself in the most memorable way possible. Simple conversations quickly become shouting matches, where passers by will often hear unfamiliar phrases such as "lawl!" or "0wn3d!!" In addition, the outsiders at these crossroads of nerdity are those who easily blend with mainstream society. Verbally abused for being uninformed on certain memes, their curiosity is met only with demands that they "lurk moar."¹

These situations often cause tensions to rise for all attendees. When every conversation is a battle for local supremacy², the nerd becomes volatile. Blind fury can become triggered by simply declining, for example, a free comic book.

Habitat 1:

Three years ago, my duty in the National Honor Society was to earn fifty volunteer hours within the semester. My peer suggested volunteering at an anime convention for a quick six hours. My desire for science had overtaken me, and I decided to go. My brother agreed to attend with me, due mostly to the fear that I would be "thrown to the wolves." When we arrived, we were the only people dressed "normally." Several of the grown men were in dresses or skimpy sailor outfits designed for women, and the (few) women were bursting out of ensembles designed for hyper-perfect cartoon figures.

Thanks to our ignorance of the goings-on of the convention and, admittedly, the subject material, he and I were tasked with making sandwiches. After we had finished our assignment, we were permitted to walk the grounds and mingle with entertainment extremes. At one point, another volunteer asked us if we would like a free comic book. I accepted, with the full intent of discarding the book as soon as I could. The exchange between this volunteer and my brother, however, did not go so smoothly. "Hey, do you a free comic book?" "No thanks, I'm good." "What!? You don't want a free comic book??" "No, I'm not all that into comic books." After my brother had shattered this nerd's worldview, the nerd had skulked off into the nether regions of the convention.

Habitat 2:

Gaming conventions are very similar to anime conventions. The stars of both shows were born in Japan, and the two entertainment mediums often blend, resulting in Dragon Ball Z games and Devil May Cry animes. This amalgamation is not a recent phenomenon. The conventions themselves are very similar in nature. Both contain many nerds dressed in bizarre clothing and large, colorful wigs. The only difference is the subject material. Regardless of the minute differences between the kinds of nerd exhibited, the rage displayed is often identical.

This past summer, my brother and I again ventured into the inner depths of a nerd gathering spot: a gaming tournament, although we had no desire to compete. We merely wanted to see a handful of internet celebrities in person, which we did. We were not alone in our goals, however, as one irascible fan of the Angry Video Game Nerd (with an appropriate forum name: NerdFan12) exhibited the acme of anger. Over the two and a half days my brother and I attended this tournament, we witnessed things only day-care center workers see.

He had marked his territory in the back corner of the convention hall. On a plastic blue tablecloth lay every video game console released before the Nintendo 64, along with a small, old TV, and he rarely let anybody play the games he brought with him. When the very tired organizer, Craig, sat down at a nearby table to play his favorite game, Dr. Mario, with a fan, NerdFan12 started shouting at Craig for "invading [his] space." Later, I sat witness to another attendee playing Shaq Fu on NerdFan12's Super Nintendo. While this attendee was in the middle of a round, NerdFAn12 hit the eject button on the console and slapped the game to the floor, shouting "it must be destroyed!" (The great irony is that NerdFan12 had purchased the game that weekend)³

Habitat 3:

The Renaissance Festival has arguably maintained its unique nerd subphylum. While one can often find video game heroes from the future* mingling with Vikings and Conquistadors, most of the mock-villagers at the Renaissance Festival uphold their honor of the yesteryears. Historical accuracy is optional, however, as fairies, scantily clad warrior women (of whom the majority should never wear a chainmail bikini), white Japanese Samurai, Robin Hood, and gladiators all walk the same muddy roads.

The Renaissance Festival employees are as dedicated at their jobs as grown men at anime conventions are dedicated to wearing painfully short plaid skirts. Imagining what Lucius the Blacksmith does during the work week is a unique challenge. Does he keep his ponytail? Does he wear a kilt? Will he hammer warm steel on his off-days too? Renaissance Festival employees could possibly be more akin to carnies than nerds, but it is hard to argue that anybody who walks through crowds of tourists in colorful tights, pointed shoes, and bell-adorned hats is not a nerd.

As an aside, an interesting emphasis on sexuality can be found at these Festivals. Approximately 70% of all women in costume wear bosom-enhancing garb, such as corsets, beer maiden outfits, and the aforementioned chainmail bikinis. Incidentally, only a mere .01% of these women can justify wearing this sort of attire, while 14% of the women emphasize their low-hanging breasts and 19% have absolutely nothing to display.

Conclusion:

The explosion of the internet has caused the nerd to evolve. With more access to other nerds, the personalities of a few have caused an entire sub-culture to distance itself further from the mainstream. Virtual wrestling matches through the typed word have caused violent e-shouting. When many of these vocal e-wrestlers congregate, real verbal shouting matches emerge. The desire to "one-up" an opponent has always been within humanity, and the nerd goes into battle armed only with an undying urge to defend his or her honor, usually by causing the opponent to go deaf or back off from fear or annoyance.

"When you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." This is a simple phrase taught to children that has, in part, been wholly abandoned. Setting aside a space for a mass of nerds uncovers the extremities in the nerd personality. Zeal and pathos often usurp reason and manners. The battles for one-upmanship have become the norm in these situations, leaving only a silent minority. If this is not true, then it is only the loudest and most extreme that are most memorable, which is quite possibly the nerd's intent.

¹ "explore the internet more to understand what we are discussing before attempting to join in any conversations we might hold"
² of what is unknown
³ After the convention, my brother informed me that NerdFan12 had been banned from the website's forums on two separate occasions, and that his parents were informed that he was not allowed to attend any more events that the website was officially hosting or attending.
* Such as an obese Soma Cruz or an abnormally short Master Chief