I feel like the title is a bit distasteful.  It sounds greedy.  Which, admittedly, it sort of is.  Wanting to get something for nothing and more or less explaining why you deserve it is kind of awkward to say the least.  But here I go...because I lack a little something called "shame."

I'll tell you something right up front.  I've scored before.  Come on, get your mind out of the gutter.  I mean I've gotten damn good deals before.  Not a large number of times but one score in particular gave me the "itch" so to speak.  Again, get your mind out of the gutter.  I mean that after this good deal I felt compelled to keep searching for other deals.

I think it has to do with the fact that I used to go crabbing all of the time with my grandfather as a little kid.  The act of crabbing was more fun than actually catching them.  That crossed over to finding deals.  I'd rather be "in the hunt" for a copy of Panzer Dragoon Saga at a bargain price even if it takes years rather than just jump on Ebay and hit a Buy It Now for the standard fare.  It's not really about the money as much as it's about the satisfaction of beating the system.

That really brings me to my main point.  I think every decent person deserves something.  Each decent person deserves to beat the system once in a while.  I think it can be described as one big score.  Maybe you get away with something that you technically shouldn't.  Maybe you get special treatment even if you don't deserve it.  Maybe you win something.  It can come in a lot of forms but there's a kind of satisfaction that comes with it.  When the "system" feels so large and powerful in comparison, it just feels empowering to know that for that one time the system bowed to you rather than the other way around.

Everybody wants to be significant in some way.  Everybody knows life is hard and sometimes unforgiving.  We all have those moments where a knot forms in our core.  What makes that linger is a feeling of helplessness.  A feeling that we're not really in control.  A feeling that somebody else is pulling the strings and we're destined to walk the path laid out before us.  A big score is symbolic of us breaking those bonds and proving to the "system" that we mean business.  It's very Rocky-esque.  And that's really what this is about.  I want to capture that feeling.

The droghte of March hath perced to the roote.

As the statement above shows, I love Mega Man.  I wouldn't say it's a like.  I wouldn't say it's an appreciation.  I would say it's a rational and perfectly healthy infatuation.  For example, I hate the New York Mets.  You know why?  Because they're called the Mets.  And as we all know, mets are hateful, evil robots that will do nothing but shoot you into holes over and over and over again.  Screw the Mets.  Granted, they've been doing a good job screwing themselves over the last couple years but that's not relevant.

What is relevant is the soundtrack to the popular 1997 blockbuster Titanic.  Nothing screams "Mega Man" like Celine Dion's music.  It perfectly represents what Mega Man is all about, 9 especially.

Allow me to demonstrate:

To the tune of Celine Dion's Mega Man's "My Heart Will Go On."

 

Every night on my Wii

I see you, I play you,

That is how I know you kick ass

 

Just fell in a hole twice

Tornado Man's stage is

Such a pain in my derrière

Femme, bot, Splash Woman's so hot

Galaxy Man ain't too bad himself

Oh great I reached the boss gate

And now it's time to fight

And this fight will go on and on

Wily fooled us one time

And then hundreds more times

Why do we keep falling for it?

Light is now in prison

I'm off on my mission

In my quest I'll free him from blame

Femme, bot, Splash Woman's so hot

Galaxy Man ain't too bad himself

Oh great I reached the boss gate

And now it's time to fight

And this fight will go on and on

I'm here, now tremble in fear,

This is where your evil schemes will end

Big ship?  Have any new tricks?

I've beaten you before

And will do it for on and on

 

You see?  And you can't have music without dancing.

 

I can watch him dance like that all day.  Dance, Wily, Dance!  Good ol' Albert.  He's dancing like he's never danced before.

 

He's going to have another reason to dance.  As I'm sure you've figured out by now, I can't listen to music without Mega Man being ever present.  And this omnipresence causes me to listen to popular tunes slightly differently.  Have you ever wondered what Disney's Beauty and the Beast would be like if Mega Man were in it?  Well I did.

 

To the tune of "Beauty and the Beast."  As performed by Mrs. Potts Mega Man.

Tale as old as time

Cool as it can be

Looks like NES

Isn't that the best

Way to bring the glee?

All of us in here

Need those press kits please

But playing number 9

Is just so sublime

Wily is a sleaze.

Ever play this game?

Ever bounce off Rush?

Ever throw Plug Ball?

A controller at a wall?

Now it's time to gush.

Tale as old as time

Roll demands those bolts

Spending them is strange

But we can watch her change

Gives us quite a jolt.

Light is in his cell

Roll is such a tease

Tale as old as time

This is hard to rhyme

Wily is a sleaze.

Tale as old as time

This is hard to rhyme

Wily is a sleaze.

 

In my mind, there is no Belle.  It's Mega Man.  Always has been and always will be.  Who do you think replaces the Beast?  Well, there's only one possibility.

 

Now that's what I call beastly.

 

Now I know what you're thinking.  But, Tony?  Mega Man isn't about romance like these songs.  And you know my response?  Shut up.  Mega Man is about everything and anything, especially romance.  But you're right.  It's not always fun and games.  There is a wistful song in Rock's heart and, sadly, I don't think many people give him the opportunity to express it.  But I did.  I gave him the opportunity the first time I saw The Wizard of Oz.  Take a look:

 

To the tune of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" sung by Judy Garland Mega Man.

 

Somewhere in a prison cell

Dr. Light rots,

Wily is such a dipstick

For stealing all his bots.

Somewhere in all these stages

There are bolts,

Roll and Auto want to help me

But charge me like dolts.

Someday I'll buy something so neat

And maybe be picked up by Beat

From a hole.

Where spikes are my most vile foe

I should buy shock guards but oh no

That makes it easy.

Somewhere in the castle

Rush will fly,

This dog is pretty useful

But I hope nothing goes awry.

If all these mets won't leave me be

Someone will have to

Come to rescue me.

 

I am a singin' machine!

 

But my voice is getting tired so I'm going to switch gears a bit.  Oh, don't cry.  Come on, I can't sing any more.  Oh, fine.  One more bit of music.

 

Happy now?  Good.  And with that, we come to more dancing.  Dance, everybody.

Something the matter?  You should be dancing by now.

I SAID DANCE!

Oh, don't look at him like that.  He isn't a bad guy.  He just get's a little...frustrated at times.

Ok, that's kinda mean.  But I'll let it slide.  Because I love Mega Man just too much to hold it against him.

In fact, I let a lot of things...wait for it...SLIDE.  Mega Man puns are my favorite puns because I love Mega Man.  But, like I was saying...I love Mega Man so much I never hold anything against him.

There is an explanation.  See, Mega Man is...trying...a new...invisible power that...makes him disappear...whenever he isn't...covered by an...air vent grating.

Coming up with excuses for Mega Man is one of my many specialties.  But it happens to be my most important specialty.  Because I love Mega Man.

Is this working at all or do I look like Hard Man, here?

Whatever, I don't care.  I know I'm the biggest Mega Man fan there is.  Any ordinary fan can see Mega Man in the games.  I see Mega Man and company everywhere.  I see them in cult classic films.

No Indiana Jones in this movie theater, nosiree.

*sigh*

Don't mind me.  I'm just a little depressed.  Why is it that so many people, even so-called die hard fans, see Mega Man as just entertainment?  Mega Man isn't just entertainment.  Mega Man is a philosophy and a way of life.

I apply what I learn from Mega Man to everything.  So much so that I can't even watch a documentary without being reminded that Mega Man has played his part in important historical events.

Mega Man is omnipresent in my life.  I want to be like him.  I need to be like him.

I won't even drink anything not prominently marked with an "E."

If Mega Man doesn't then why should I?

Now, we all need to know what time it is.  But for me, time is always dependent on Mega Man.  Hence why of all my clocks, I see to it that only my Mega Man clock is correct.  Other clocks just don't have the right to tell time.

It just isn't worth using a clock that is unrelated to Mega Man.  I'd rather be late.

And I'd rather have something of value as opposed to something fundamentally Mega Man-less, hence useless.

This is a Mickey Mantle signed baseball.

Looks kind of stupid, right?  Well, I took the liberty of improving it.

That's what I call a collectible!

I could go on forever but I think you get the message.  In the end, there is just too big of a world with too little Mega Man in it.  I hope to change that.  I hope to show that Mega Man is more than just a game.  You can't just be a "fan" of Mega Man.  You have to follow Mega Man's example.  Be like him.  Live as he would want you to live.  That is the Mega Man difference.  And with that, I bid you better tomorrows that hopefully have a little more Blue Bomber than each yesterday.